Don't Fear The Pizza Man
by Mystical Light
Summary: Castiel's first time dealing with 'sex pollen' Rated M for mentions of male anatomy and Casa Erotica 7  now on Blu-ray


Disclaimer: Supernatural is owned by the people of the CW and its respective writers and actors. This is not being done for any financial payout.

This is going to take place during the course of season 5.

This is sooo much different than what I usually write and I hope it isn't too out of character. This was a bit of a stretch for me and I hope I don't disappoint any of you readers because I worked very hard on getting this just right. Enjoy.

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><p>Sam and Dean both stumbled out of the Impala and ran to their motel room door leaving a thoroughly confused Castiel standing alone a few feet behind them. They were both muttering to each other something about burning their clothes and needing to get out again soon before "the effects" started to show.<p>

Dean was the first one to get the door open and, after checking the immediate area and seeing no people out and about, began removing his clothes with fervor. Sam was about to follow before noticing Castiel just staring at them with that infamous 'head tilt of confusion'. Trying his hardest _not_ to roll his eyes, Sam walked behind the angel and began pushing him into the room and locking the door with his foot as he removed his shirt.

"Dean, how much time?"

"My guess…t-minus twenty minutes and counting."

"You think Cas'll be affected?"

"Maybe - ask him."

Sam turned to the silent Castiel while simultaneously removing his shoes and then his pants. "How're you feeling, Cas?" Sam asked seriously.

"I am...warm?"

Sam groaned. "Dean, it's got him too."

"Clothes off, Cas," Dean shouted through the closed bathroom door.

Castiel looked down at his trench coat and tie and frowned deeply. "But...why?"

"Sex pollen," Dean shouted.

Castiel turned his confused eyes to look at Sam who was now down to only his boxers and socks - and from the look in the boy's eyes, those garments were very close to being removed as well. Sam took a deep breath, mentally cursing his brother for making him be the one to explain this. "You know that coven we stopped tonight?"

"Yes, I remember as it was just under fifty-three minutes ago."

"Right," Sam said, extending his hand and walking forward to touch Castiel on the shoulder, "well then you remember that junk the head witch tossed at us - the white powder?"

"Yes..." Castiel began to be afraid, especially after feeling what he was sure Dean once described to him as being "lightheaded".

"It has a strange effect on people," Sam continued, "basically...releasing their inhibitions."

Castiel shook his head before saying, "I still don't understand…"

"Are his clothes off yet?" Dean asked.

"No," Sam said, picking his own pile of clothes up and opening the bathroom door, throwing them inside.

"Well hurry up - your underwear in this stash?"

Knowing he couldn't hide from Castiel for much longer, Sam quickly removed the offending cloth and tossed it in the room with his brother too. Castiel couldn't help but think his…penis looked a bit odd, pointing upwards like that. Painful too.

"Gross - I am not touching that Sam."

Sam groaned and turned giving Castiel a full view of his ass. "Then you talk to Cas and you get him to take off that suit and coat he refuses to ever remove before we run out of time and all start spooning again."

The bathroom door opened and Dean walked out, also completely nude, as Sam walked inside. Sam then quickly walked back out again, grabbed some clean clothes and went in, closing the door behind him.

"Cas - what the hell man. When I say clothes off now, I tend to mean it."

"I...don't understand what is happening," Castiel said, now at the very least starting to remove the trench coat.

"I told you - sex pollen, or that's what we call it anyway." Dean now walked forward, yanking Castiel's coat off and starting to remove the tie and suit jacket too. "Sex pollen is a stupid friggen weapon some witches use when they want to incapacitate people. And boy does it do wonders on dudes. Last time I was doused, the stuff lasted almost twelve hours – and don't make me tell you about the time my Dad was struck down. Lasted almost two days. It makes the victim horny, I mean - you'd jump anything if you were doused with enough of the stuff."

"Why would I want to...jump...something?" Castiel asked slowly while removing his shoes and socks.

"Because you're horny - did I not just say that?"

"Dean, hurry up - less than ten minutes!"

"Cas - clothes off now!"

Carefully Castiel began removing the rest of his outer garments until he was down to only his underclothes and still he stood ramrod straight like a soldier waiting for his orders.

"Doesn't your back ever hurt?" Dean asked, walking to his duffel and beginning to put on whatever clothes he could find.

"No."

"Well, I'm sorry but we're going to have to burn your clothes - but don't worry," Dean said, holding up his hands when Castiel was about to protest, "We'll find new ones that look exactly the same and replace them as soon as we can."

Castiel stared at Dean before slowly removing his undershirt. Placing his hands on his boxers though, Castiel looked away and tried not to look flustered.

Dean rolled his eyes and walked to the bathroom door and knocked. "You all dressed in there - I think Cas wants a little privacy."

Sam walked out wearing different clothes and took one long look at the both of them. Dean was dressed and Castiel was closer to being more naked than even _he_ had probably ever been. Sam grabbed the remains of Castiel's outfit and flung the pile into the bathtub with his and Dean's.

"Cas, hurry up," Dean said trying to sound more patient than he was feeling, "We'll hand you some other clothes for you to wear tonight and then we're going to head out."

Castiel looked from one brother to the other."Where are you two going?"

"Sex pollen - how many times am I going to have to tell him that?" Dean asked his brother.

"You're going to…find sex?" Castiel asked, unsure.

"Yes," Dean said, clapping and throwing his hands up in jubilation, "the boy finally understands."

Castiel's body was now uncomfortably warm and he felt like he needed to do something - he just didn't know exactly what it was. He stared intently into Dean's eyes in much the same way as in that den of iniquity a few months ago and Dean flinched as though struck before diving into the extra clothes and rummaging for something Castiel would fit into. Castiel began walking into the bathroom and once he was inside a small pile of clothes landed beside him. He shut the door, removed his boxers and quickly put on the jeans and shirt Dean had given him. There was a loud banging on the closed door and Dean shouted, "We're heading out to the car. Come on!"

Castiel walked out and both Winchesters stopped and took a minute to stare. They had never seen him or his vessel wear anything other than the suit and trench coat. To see him wearing a regular button down plaid shirt and jeans was unusual.

"All right, so Cas - staying here or going with us?" Dean asked as Sam looked at his watch.

"Um, I believe it would be best if I remained here."

"Prude," Dean muttered before grabbing his keys and practically running out the door.

Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at Castiel. "I guess since we don't really know what kind of effect that junk will have on you we'll -"

"My body is feeling very warm and there is a strange bulge in my pants that was rather annoying when trying to put on this pair."

"Okay then," Sam said trying to hide his shock from that rather blunt statement. From outside Dean honked the horn and Sam groaned. "_Casa Erotica 7_ is on channel 94. I can't believe I'm saying this to an angel but sit down, watch it and relax. We'll be back in the morning."

"Sam!"

"Coming!" Sam shouted as he walked over the threshold and slammed the door shut behind him.

Castiel took several successive deep breaths as he paced a few short laps around the room wishing he understood why this body was acting in such a strange way before finally taking a seat and, using the small remote control he had seen the Winchester's use before, turned on the television. He went through several channels before finally stopping where Sam said he should.

On the screen, written in a fancy white script on a black velvet backdrop were the words _Casa Erotica_ and the words faded away and a number seven appeared before fading as well. An instrument Castiel assumed to be a saxophone played several notes in the background as two girls younger than Sam, one blonde and one red head lay on a pink, lacy bedspread wearing very little clothing and reading magazines. A voiceover of one girl began to speak a lone monologue –

"Oh, there is nothing Cindy and I enjoy more than a sleepover - especially when that sleepover takes a turn to my favorite place - _Casa Erotica_."

Castiel watched intently as the two girls moved from reading the magazines to the blonde girl kissing the other on the shoulder and giggling as the red haired began to take off her shirt when she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Pizza," a deep male voice said off screen.

"Mmm, pizza," the red head said, jumping off the bed and running to answer. She opened the door and pulled a man inside who wore no shirt, tight leather pants, a red hat on his head and a pizza box in his left hand.

"That is...impractical for food delivery..." Castiel murmured as the two girls gushed over both the pizza and the man.

The blonde moved across the room and removed the pizza box from his hand and flung it onto the bed before pulling the pizza man into a long kiss. The red head meanwhile kneeled down before the pizza man and lowered the pizza man's pants and smiled, before placing her mouth...Castiel felt wetness in his pants that he ignored as he continued staring at the screen and studying it in fascination.

The girls and pizza man moved about the room in a strange dance which included begs for fornication, massages, spanking and close up shots of body parts Castiel was unable to identify. At one point the pizza man pushed the blonde against the wall, kissed her deeply, felt every curve of her body. The red head meanwhile slowly ate a slice of the pizza before walking over and feeding it to the pizza man. The pizza man then grabbed both of the girl's arms and led them to the bed where the pizza box still sat open and...began making love to the girls, on top of the pizza? Through the moans of the three involved, the saxophone continued playing a tuneless number, tooting incessantly as their bodies continued to move around the room in their dance. After many, many minutes of watching them have intercourse, the girl's voiceover returned.

"Daddy didn't catch us that night when he came home from work - we were sound asleep. Completely clean and innocent. The next morning, he said Mrs. Benedict down the street was looking for a sitter this summer - hope the kids enjoy pizza."

The ending credits began scrolling on the screen over the sounds of the girl's laughter and more bad music.

Castiel sat, eyes squinted and head tilted while his mind took in what he'd seen and quickly going to the next channel in time for _College Co-eds Gone Wild on Spring Break 2008_. Leaning forward, Castiel placed both hands on top of his lap as several girls on the screen sped by in a convertible - all of them intoxicated, wearing no shirts and cheering...

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><p>Several days later, when the case was completely tied up and it was time to pay the bill for the room, the manager gave Sam an exaggerated wink before handing him the receipt. Sam stared at the list of movies that had been ordered over the course of their stay and noticed that they all seemed to be over the course of one night. Sam handed the man his credit card (which belonged to a "Hector Page") and looked out the window, shaking his head at his brother who only smirked in response. Sam thanked the man and walked outside to his waiting brother.<p>

"Over a hundred dollars worth - that's how much he watched."

"Wow. Knew he was a curious one, but man," Dean said, whistling and looking to the sky impressed.

"Dean, this isn't funny."

"Like hell it isn't - nerdy angel dude staying up all night watching porn? Come on, if that's not something to tell the grandkids one day..."

Sam didn't say anything else as he walked to the passenger side door and got into the car. Dean sat in the driver's seat, put the key in the ignition and stopped.

"You burned the clothes, right?"

"Yes Dean."

"Including the jeans, like I asked."

"Yes," Sam said shortly, "I burned Cas' jeans."

"Okay, let's go." Dean pulled out of the parking spot and out into the road towards the unknown.

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><p>Please let me know what you thought. If it's all right then I might work on other Supernatural ideas in the future. Have a nice day. :)<p> 


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